~the road im taken...~

the day,its finally arrives...........

at first everything seems so pleasant,i love it

i was so excited,over the moon,joyous,heaven....all the pleasant feelings.

as it goes by it faded!

now its nothing like the first time.

i am exhausted,anxious,afraid,doubt,pessimist,inferior,etc.

but its the road i taken.the one that i choose.

im not sure whether this is the right move or not,i try

I STAKE MY LIFE FOR TRYING!

my heart are so heavy now,i feel happy but i can't even grin.

this is it new journey,new perspective,new lifestyle,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

my wish.....

i just hope everythings remain normal.

not much changes,especially on me!

i want to be more better than now but im afraid what life offered me.

promise to be optimist,ALLAH always choose the best for HIS creature.

the BEST for me,this is it!

im so going forward no matter how hard it is to make me move.

hopefully everyone will let me lean on them whenever im tired.

everyone will welcome me when i feel isolated.

everyone will support me when im down.

through thick and thin,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"its not an END,its an AND"

++im currently grooving with:super junior(leeteuk,shindong,eunhyuk,donghae)-strong heart++

~dream vs reality~

...DREAM...

always a pleasant thing

sthings that make us laugh

things that make us happy

it always go as what we want it to be

nothing call tragedy/suffering/sadness in it

everyone wants to be i their dream

everyone wants to hold that dream

make it REAL...

...REALITY...

its not always a pleasant thing

never follow what we want

it has variation

from the most happiest to the most sorrow

sometime it against us totally

there's always things call happy/sadness/numb in it

everyone wish for a reality in their dream

everyone hope that the reality is not a nightmare

everyone are doubtful with it

make it FAKE...

i want to live in my dream but the fact that im chasing my reality makes everything FAKE!

ps:i should just give up!

++im currently grooving with:eminem ft rihanna-i love the way you lie++

~profile~

WHAT WAS YOUR: 1. Last beverage: warm plain water(i have sore throat) 2. Last phone call: ika (lost at asyan) 3. Last text message: along 4. Last song you listened to: just now finish listening to shine get it 5. Last time you cried: the day I need to say bye bye to my family TT (22/9/2010) HAVE YOU EVER: 6. Dated someone twice: I never dated YET 7. Been cheated on: its an obvious no 8. Kissed someone & regretted it: oh gosh 0__0 9. Lost someone special: life and death come and go….. 10. Been depressed: those 1 year of depression,I never forget! 11. Been drunk and threw up: this surely WILL NEVER HAPPEN! LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS: 12. rainbow 13. white 14. Blue(super junior official colour ^^) THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010) 15. Made a new friend: Yes. I lost counting! 16. Fallen out of love: crush…YES 17. Laughed until you cried: that’s me when im laughing. 18. Met someone who changed you: ?? 19. Found out who your true friends were: owh pity me, not yet! 20. Found out someone was talking about you: I do stand out ^^, of course people will talk about me. either good or bad, I never care! 21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: astaghfirullahalazim… 22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: LOL…do u think im a psycho! 23. How many kids do you want to have: hehe *blushing* 24. Do you have any pets: nope 25. Do you want to change your name?: when im a kid I wanna change it,but now that name signifies who I am 26. What did you do for your last birthday: studying maybe…kekeke 27. What time did you wake up today: almost 10 am ^^ 28. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching movie ‘the imaginarium of doctor Parnassus’ 29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: be with mama, winter sale, finish studying, PARTNER. 30. Last time you saw your Mother: last 2 weeks at airport TT *sobs* 31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: im still comfortable in my life now, so no need to change! 32. What are you listening to right now: FT island-love love love (I love hongki hand movement in this song) 33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: LOL…how should I remeber 34. What's getting on your nerves right now: I wanna buy a boots and clothes but the time still not coming yet…its really burdensome! 35. Most visited webpage: twitter, facebook, soompi(super junior), sj-world, allkpop…all sort of kpop stuff! 36. Whats your real name: aqilah amirah binti abd aziz 37. Nicknames: qiela n miera n angah *its only for my family* 38. Relationship Status: looking for love…haks3 39. Zodiac sign scorpio 40. Male or female?: lets guess….^^ 41. Elementary?: what ?? 42. Middle School?: owh skool, SMK seri saujana (one of the best moment) 43. High school/college?: KMNS, UKM and now im currently attending I.M sechenov Moscow first state medical university ^^ 44. Hair colour: should I tell the truth…hint im an asian 45. Long or short: small and CUTE 46. Height: dun want to tell, im SHORT bytheway 47. Do you have a crush on someone?: hehe…always and it comes and go *lost count how many guys in my heart now* 48: What do you like about yourself?: everything…I always proud of myself so dun bother to feel annoyed! 49. Piercings: never have 50. Tattoos: this will never DO! 51. Righty or lefty: u mean hand??ok…im a right-handed! FIRSTS : 52. First surgery: when im 14 years old, appendicitis! 53. First piercing: see above 54. First best friend: gosh, im sorry but YES I forget already! 55. First sport you joined: 4x200m run ^^ 56. First vacation: to langkawi *chocolate heaven* 58. First pair of trainer: ??? RIGHT NOW 59. Eating: looking at the time its crazy if still chunking on food (1.10 am) 60. Drinking: still warm *turn cold ady* lain water 61. I'm about to: finish this and then sleep,need to wake early to catch the class! 62. Listening to: my playlist on WMP and now its playing C.N blue-lie 63.Waiting on: to finish this and sleep YOUR FUTURE : 64. Want kids?: that’s what makes a woman woman 65. Get Married?: if I want kids of coz I need to get married, and that mostly girls dream! 66. Career?: insyallah a doctor in psychiatrist! WHICH IS BETTER : 67. Lips or eyes: its depend on the beholde, but I’ll choose both 68. Hugs or kisses: combination of both will be so sweet! 69. Shorter or taller: he has to be TALL! 70. Older or Younger: it’s a dream of a lifetime to be young forever 71. Romantic or spontaneous: my heart need both! 72. Nice stomach or nice arms: I need both. 73. Sensitive or loud: eww… 74. Hook-up or relationship: ^^ 75. Trouble maker or hesitant: both I hate, bad boys is an exception! 76. Kissed a stranger: if he is a HOT, then its okay ^^ 77. Drank hard liquor: im a muslim and never will 78. Lost glasses/contacts: few times for contacts. Glasses broke YES, lost NEVER 79. Sex on first date: 0__) 80. Broken someone's heart: well, I don’t know! 82. Been arrested: wow, im a good girl! 83. Turned someone down: im so reserved, but still I guess I turn few down. 84. Cried when someone died: Yes, my late oma. 85. Fallen for a friend?: hehehe…never had that kind of feeling or friends yet! DO YOU BELIEVE IN 86. Yourself: absolutely 87. Miracles: maybe 88. Love at first sight: YES I DO 89. Heaven: yes 90. Santa Claus: hmm… 91. Kiss on the first date: *blush* but im sure I wont do that 92. Angels: yes ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: 94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: never! 95. Did you sing today?: I always sing… 96. Ever cheated on somebody?: minus on love issues, yes a lot! 97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: im hesitant bout this -__- 98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: nothing special from last year so NO 99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: maybe…hurt is the last thins I want to feel! 100. Posting this as 100 truths?: you judges!

++im currently grooving with:kim yeonga-is it love+

~digestion~

digestive?

mmm,i juz wanna complain something bout my diet that make me so upset!
i never know a person that think 'eating' is a BORING things to do,well that's ME.
i dont wanna eat but still i have to eat.
im a human and eating is an essential,but my stomach refuse it.
*smack stomach so hard*
OUCH....T__T
i feel so restless because of this...start a day with a pale face make me sick.
plus in this fasting month~~


ps:im forcing a food down my throat even my stomach keep hardening ^^!
*serve you right bad stomach

++im currently grooving with:samcheongsa-eat!++

~fasting~

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT RAMADHAN!

the time of the year is coming again...

all muslim in the world are now in their obligatory to do what we suppose to do as a muslim.

according to 'rukun islam' FASTING!

ps:i want to put some splash here,where can i get it?

++im currently grooving with:raihan-puasa++

~obvious~

*YAY finally it turn into what it supposed to be*

obvious...what with this?

i like obvious thing,ALWAYS...

attitude,appearance,clothes,talk,behaviour

everything

but still one thing i keep it hidden

.

.

.

.

.

my feeling!

++im currently grooving with:backstreet boys-incomplete++

~rant~

*what eactly happening to blogspot?*
I FREAKING HATE TO WRITE THINGS HERE IF I CAN PUT ANY COLOUR....I NEED COLOUR!

maybe it just me....T_T i need a place now to let everything inside me out!
well im just going to rant eventho i hate it...

i think im changing now,im not exactly like i am before.
things come and go YES but i dont like how it affect me!
its just few week but i can totally feel the bad side of it....
im guessing that my heart dont want to be a loner anymore...
it need a content to be fill but i dont have it!
i might have if im bold enough but the reality is vice versa...i should just stop feeling like this and move on.
if it as easy as that i wont be ranting *knock head*

people said just take any chance in front of you "opporturnity knocks but once",
be grateful but as bad as i am i always try to avoid it...how pity i am!
there's might not be any chance for me afterward so should i make the move...IM TOO EGO!
i keep saying to others that we should be fair in every aspect,between old and young and man and woman.
but i still think unfair in some aspect.
i want this and that but never thought of what other side want.
we cant always have what we want exactly in this life...its not EASY.

i give myself time.
maybe i'll make the move,i should initiate a thing if i want it to happen.
but still i wish i had a guidance or light that will exactly show me or lead me through!
its too frustrating keeping things that cannot be discussed in your head,its going to explode but never be.
i'll come back but i stop here!


ps:im listening to english more noe.

++im currently grooving with:westlife-us against the world++